SESATS 101

"Hey guys..Knock knock..who is there.Who?HUHU:D"..anyway this is what a sesat guy would say.Sesats are everywhere.Everyone has been or will be sesat at one point or more than one point.Okay so when we went to Malacca we came across many sesat moments.Would you like to see?No?Well im still going to show you anyway.:D..Talking abt sesats Jon had a funny encounter with what weng called "a horny old man"The guy was speaking chinese to raymond because we were kinda lost and this guy came alone because he knew we were tourists.Anyway half way through Raymond had a phone called and just left.Jon had to talk to this man.HAHA the ironic part was Jon did not know how to speak CHINESE.PS Melaka is like China everywhere you see chinese ppl and everyone only speaks chinese.Anyway so Jon said smth like WO PU CHE TAU MANDARIn or smth like that.There was a long silence and the guys eyes popped out like how jon was looking in the second pic.Then the guy tried speaking in english and told us where to go.Nice kind old man lah WENG!!..and the second picture above Jon made that face when he w as asked for the bill?The waiter continued by saying please dont scare me you dont have to pay just leave..JK LAH..Jon had an allergy or something like that.Anyway he couldnt open his eyes.

OK BYE

WOHOOO I AM BACK

!""££$%£%^^^)*(%£$)&%*£$&*("$(!"&£$**************************(Foul Words)
Please dont use those foul words on me because i havent been updating my blog for so long.I have been really busy,lazy and ran out of ideas.So the trip to melaka that i had was exactly what i needed.:)..Im back BITCHESS....(i use those foul words myself but you cant use it).And if you are really pissed at me please do not do what jon is doing to andrew in the picture above.It is very inappropriate..Rough Hotel room ****.Guess what those four letters are.It isnt what you think.Happy now everyone?:D
Ok bye

Smart people

Sexy body guy Euvan.Anyway firstly i would just like to give a very warm welcome to Euvan for joining blogger.So besides his sexy body im sure he is very good at blogging too so check out his blog at http://bitsofeuvan.blogspot.com/.And that is that.What should i do today lah?Okay there was this guju guy(palvinas cousin)His name is Aneet Patel..So whats his brothers name?A-messy Patel..and his other brother is a slob.Hey if you think its not funny dont complain to me.Complain to Mr Russel Peters.Whatever im telling you and showing you today(the pic) is something to do with haloween.So today is haloween and bad things happen.According to andrew hong haloween is suppposed to be the day some weird with was killed.Then he went on to say something about Joan of arc.Joan of Arc though was not a witch.Anyway wht happened to me today?I woke up super early(8`clock) to go for a jog.Then as i was jogging half way my shoe broke..Weird right..Right before that i was bending down to tie my shoelace..Then this malay man whistled Phewwweww..He was checking out my ass.Im totally joking..He just asked me for directions somewhere.Luckily i didnt get kidnapped And later i will be with the rempits at AAR.Anyway moral of the story go see Euvans blog because it will be cooler than mine.You might get more sneek peeks at his sexy body.Ok Bye

Dont be like me.Be Lame..:D

Hey guys.Whats up.Today i had the most awesome night wei.I am serious.Fine fine you got me..My night wreaked.My internet got cut off so i had to find something to do to keep myself busy right??So while you guys were busy chatting/Surfing the net or watching porn videos.This is what i was doing?A kind reminder to all you readers do not try this at home.So first i decided to watch Gone baby gone.Btw an awesome/not so awesome movie but unique.We all get this urge right when we watch movies?We must have something awesome to drink and eat.So i went to the kitchen.As i opened the kitchen cabinet Kabboong right in front of my eyes was a Johnny Walker Black Label.So i took a glass,threw in large squarish ice cubes and opened a can of tonic.I just put a little bit like really little of johnny walker just to try.Reminder people might call me gay but i tried it,i didnt really like it and after drinking quater i threw it away.Then,I thought maybe an ice blended would be nice.So i thought why dont i get my blender?After all who cares if the blades break.Apparently i had bigger problems than that..I didnt even have a blender.Well I didnt find it anyway.So then i used took out the ice from the freezer and used that tumbuk thingy to tumbuk my ice..:D and mix my Milo Tumbuk.After i did that i put my milo in a cup.I came back to my computer room to sit down,watch a nice movie and enjoy my nice milo Ice Tumbuk.Then as i drank it..Guess what happened?My mouth burst into flames.Being the smart guy i am,I forgot that the tumbuk thingy is where my maid pounds chilli and stuff like that.So my milo was bloody spicy.Ugh felt like the worst milo i have ever drank.Then i made something which i knew can never be wrong.Maggi Goreng Instant...:D.After i ate it,i drank like 2 big bottles of water.Guys please dont be as dumb as me.Ok BYE

PSYCHC DAYS WITH GAV

Barat is going to the Barat.Barat I know you going to UK.This is going to be a truly memoroble trip.This trip is going to mean a lot to you.Something is going to happen to you that inspires you to become very very rich.Just like in early edition i got a newspaper yesterday which said "Barat The Richest Man in the World."Wait i might have read it wrongly Maybe it was "Barat,car Thief Extraordinaire"Anyway he got a ferrari.
SHEKSA(MAGIC WORD)ALSO MEANS 6 in KOREAN//:D
OK BYE

Bets

You`ll Never walk alone while blowing pretty bubbles in the air.Thats exactly how i feel.These are the two teams which made me win money yesterday.Both were awesome games.

Chorus

I'm forever blowing bubbles,

Pretty bubbles in the air.

They fly so high,

Nearly reach the sky,

Then like my dreams,

They fade and die.

Fortune's always hiding,

I've looked everywhere,

I'm forever blowing bubbles,

Pretty bubbles in the air.

BOKOOOSH

Crash Bang Boom..That was the sound of the glass crash and breaking to pieces as barat angrily threw his glass at the table when Antonio Valencia hit the cross bar.Oh my god barat is damn macho and not a pussy right?Wrong,he accidently tipped it over and it broke.Crash bang boom also went the hearts of all Man U supporters as David Ngog slotted the ball past Van Der Sar in the 96th minute.So anyway today i had an absolutely awesome time in Social.Although i spent 36 bucks just on drinks and a little bit of chicken wings..I feel the money was well spent.Okay i won 5 bucks from barat but i bet on something stupid with akhil so yeh i didnt make any money.Yeah babe i like hot indon girls..I didnt know they could drink alcohol in Msia though.Michael Ownen welcome back to Anfield..Anyway ive just go one Phrase to say babey..Youll Never Walk Alone..
Ok Bye

Im sorry

Hey guys..Im posting another post today..WAIIITTTTT..dont go..I hope my post today wont be as boring as yesterdays post.Well your probably thinking to yourself "He is right.How can any post get any worst"Anyway today my topic is about Malaysians.Today i was reading the star online and i stumbled upon something really interesting..Weng i know your opening your eyes wide right now but nope its not about MCA and Ong Tee Keat wanting to work together with his former deputy Chua Soi Lek however it is about this poll.Should condoms be sold in convinience stores.Surprisingly..look at the results.Very cool huh..We Malaysians are horny..Guess what i voted for?:D

POLL RESULTS »

Should condoms be sold in convenience stores?

Yes		74%
No		5%
It should only be sold to those above 18		21%

Ok bye

Rafa Benitez can't be sacked. Andriy Voronin is there for the hair. And Alberto Aquilani is like a Z in Scrabble

Now i know i said that we should lose graciously and i also want to look at things at the critical yet funny side.If you watch football..you will definitely find this amusing

random thoughts on the shambles that is Liverpool's season.

1. Alberto Aquilani is like having a 'Z' in Scrabble. You wait forever for your chance to cash in, by which point everyone else is miles ahead.

2. Given the entertainment on offer, you can see why Liverpool fans now take toys to games.

3. David Ngog is not fit to wear the shirt. Or, in fact, sell the shirt in the club shop.

4. Rafa Benitez plans all subs in advance of kick-off, rather than analysing and utilising his bench options to change its course. Why else would he take off Yossi Benayoun?

5. Steven Gerrard pulls his groin so often because his team-mates aren't good enough to pass the bloody thing to his feet.

6. Andriy Voronin's one meaningful role is to make Lucas' hairstyle look less awful.

7. That gives Voronin one meaningful role more than Ryan Babel.

8. Replacing Alvaro Arbeloa with Glen Johnson has ruined Liverpool's defence.

9. Neither Tom Hicks nor George Gillett is powerful enough to sack Benitez.

10. Liverpool will definitely beat Manchester United on Sunday.

Losers!

When do we usually use the word loser.Usually its when someone loses or does something wrong or embaressing.However losing is an integral part of life.Without losing we will never win.Someone once said that in a way...life is like a video game.We are bound to fail.But what we should do is restart and try again and try again until we prevail.While reading this i want you to switch on this video and listen to it.It is a very meaningful song..especially to all the Liverpool fans and even if your not it is still a very meaningful song.Listen to the lyrics carefully kay.How did i think of the topic for today?Well maybe god just wanted me to write about it.First i watched this show royal pains which had something to do with this yesterday..and after that i witnessed the liverpool match.I must say i am surprisingly not that disappointed with liverpool.Liverpool have now lost four games on the bounce but its okay.Dont sack rafa the gaffer..So guys just remember losing isnt the end of the road.

Ok Bye

PHONE WANKERS

HALLOO Ahh Mammii...Come pick me up at 8 wor..Im introducing my new post today the same way as how weng answered his phone when his "MAMIII" called."Why am i introducing myself this way?"you might be thinking to yourself.PFFTT..im exaggerating you guys probably dont even think lahh..who am i kidding.So today im going to talk to you guys about phones.KA Ling-Ka Ling,we hear phones ring?Some of you indians might feel insulted keling keling but we indians must accept the fact....We did sell ice creams once upon atime..Now all you Chinamen lauging your ass off,besides talking about phones i was also talking about my friends auntie..Ong Ka Ling..So anyway why are phones so important?Well the reasons are obvious.If you all say phones are about calling your parents during an emergency your totally wrong..Why waste credit lah...If your stranded in the middle of the night..instead of using your phone you can always walk back.You might run the risk of getting raped.But its just your virginity right ,not your credit.So what are phones for?PRANKK CALLS LAHH...pfft it was so obvious.Anyway today jon made a prank call and it was off the hook man.Who am i kidding they just wasted my bloody credit.Barat for some reason took my phone and wanted to call sarah even though she knows my number..and then tak jadi...So instead they called koshla.Jon didnt even change his slang.Omg so funnn..xD,,Moral of the story let your friends finish of your credit.So you can walk back when you are stranded
*Pfft=gay(apparently ppl have dreams that i am gay)this proves you might be right..xD

Oh yeah Bryan if your pissed that i stole your picture from your blog..This is Msia man..Where cetak rompak always happens.So tough luck..Jk la if your pissed sorry wei..but i dont have any pics of weng
OK BYE

IDLES

Hey guys im sure your still tearing from my last post.So funny right?Ha-ha-ha...Its better to try and fail rather than to not try right?Or is it ?Well there was this wise man who once gave contradicting statements."If you dont know ,just say dont know..Dont try and guess!"was his first statement.On another occasion when someone was not sure of something and answered him DONT KNOW..he replied"You must be brave to answer questions. Dont be scared of getting it wrong. Okay so that leads me to my topic for today..which is totally unrelated.I was just in the mood to type something.Now you must be looking at the computer screens with this reaction"Blink Blink"in shock.Well thats the point of my blog to stir your emotions. RAWRRRR....okay my topic for today is the imporatance of being idle...Idle?"Some of you might be thinking"I cant speak english..I dont know what idle means.."MOU SHIO KON"If you dont know just mutter this to your self Tiu NGO...If you dont know english or chinese.. PARAVALLAI,TAKPE...Anyway the meaning of idle means

1 : lacking worth or basis : vain
2 : not occupied or employed: as a : having no employment : inactive b : not turned to normal or appropriate use c : not scheduled to compete
3 a : shiftless, lazy b : having no evident lawful means of support

I found it from the bloody dick tiu nary and just pasted la..Now we will be idle because we wont have any work to do since PMR is in 2 weeks.Idling is very important to our mind body and soul..PMR students 09 what im trying to say is...OH GOD IVE SAID TOO MUCH..ERM MY COMPUTER JUST...BANNNGGGSSS(it froze)thats why i can still type..my keyboard is on fire..arhhh..(I have a computer chip on my face)(Sorry for the temporary cacatness of my site..The people here at Gsd45 will adress these problems at never o`clock) Bye bye assholes
For the trademark
OK BYE

YIPPEE With a huge question mark at the back?

Hey guys..by saying hey guys i actually sounds reallyyy gay and i actually sound as if people actually read my blog..I am sadly mistaken..In fact sad describes everything.But still i still have the right to act as if my blog is popular with people right?Anyway today PMR is over.We had Kemahiran Hidup today which is easily my worst subject but still i think i can get A although i didnt really study for it.The paper was easy i guess.Okay anyway im posting something up today for the people who like me,dont feel anything after PMR..I should be feeling over the moon right but im not?Its just PMR.So what should i do to liven up the mood?Okay today im going to lift your spirit by telling you some really long and not really funny jokes.This is not only to fill up the huge void in your daily routine which will now be empty.


1)Two Chinese buisnessmen were discussing insurance."You need Fire insurance burglary insurance and flood insurance."said Ah Boon.
The other chinese guy replied"Fire and theft burglary i can understand lahhh...But the flood insurance?How do you start a floood?DUDUDCHHHH(DRUM ROLL)

2)A middle aged couple were sleeping in their bed..At 2 a.m the doorbell rang.Ali went down to see who was it.A man replied its the Bangsar strangler open up..Im coming for you.Ali went up to bed and said to his wife"Honey its for you"DuDUGHCH

The last joke for the day
3) In an anatomy class,a young woman is called upon to name the three most important parts of the male body.First shew stammered theres the brain.Second she continued there is the heard..The third thing..the third thing ..She looked hopelessly confused . The third thing ive had it on my fingertips.Ive had it on the tip of my tongue..Ive had it drilled into me a thousand times..But i just cant remember it.....DUDUDGHCHHH(SILENCE AMONG GIRL AUDIENCE)

Kay anyway thats all for today guys..Sorry i havent updated my blog for a long time.Have been studying for PMR(It is just an excuse.I just didnt want to write on my bloody lameass blog.)

OK BYE

PLEASE COME BACK NOEL

Okay guys today im feeling depressed.Well actually i shouldve been feeling depressed a few weeks ago but i am today.Want to know why?This is the reason why!!

Dearly beloved, it is with a heavy heart and a sad face that I say this to you this morning.

As of last Friday the 28th August, I have been forced to leave the Manchester rock'n'roll pop group Oasis.

The details are not important and of too great a number to list. But I feel you have the right to know that the level of verbal and violent intimidation towards me, my family, friends and comrades has become intolerable. And the lack of support and understanding from my management and band mates has left me with no other option than to get me cape and seek pastures new.

I would like firstly to offer my apologies to them kids in Paris who'd paid money and waited all day to see us only to be let down AGAIN by the band. Apologies are probably not enough, I know, but I'm afraid it's all I've got.

While I'm on the subject, I'd like to say to the good people of V Festival that experienced the same thing. Again, I can only apologise - although I don't know why, it was nothing to do with me. I was match fit and ready to be brilliant. Alas, other people in the group weren't up to it.

In closing I would like to thank all the Oasis fans, all over the world. The last 18 years have been truly, truly amazing (and I hate that word, but today is the one time I'll deem it appropriate). A dream come true. I take with me glorious memories.

Now, if you'll excuse me I have a family and a football team to indulge.

I'll see you somewhere down the road. It's been a fuckin' pleasure.

Thanks very much.

Goodbye.

NG.

Noel Gallagher i dont know why you had to leave.After all the club you so dearly love(Manchester City) isnt going to win anything.Theyve lost to Manchester United and they will lose a lot more.Their not winners.Now freaking get back with OASIS If your reading this.Manchester City will just take money from your season tickets and use it to buy explosives for AL QAEDA>> Noel for your own good..Stop supporting CITY..Okay guys here i leave you with the song which the oasis website claims is the best song in HISTORY...LIVE FOREVER...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=i_2mWhfOhGU&feature=channel_page
Okay BYE

CONCENTRATION TIPS

I am sitting down here doing math homework that MR Raj gave in front of this screen.Because i am such a dilligent student,I am listening to music while i do it.Suddenly i just hear this guy shouting..YOUUUUUUU...and i lose my concentration.I then realise the song CRANK DAT is playing.It beats me why soulja Boy cant spell.He spells the word "that" as "DAT" but thats going off topic.Now,i am going to go more off topic. I cant even imagine why the guys at MR Raj last year would dance to the song "CRANK DAT" at Mr Raj`s party.I mean would you think and old cranky guy would listen to SOULJA BOY..Hell even i find SOULJA BOY IRRITATING..Okay anyway i heard that MOZART and BEETHOVENS songs should be listened to while studying.However for me,anything except SOULJA BOY would be fine.. With that everybody i leave you with the link to one of my most hatred songs..CRANK DAT EVERYBODY>>SOULJA BOYY http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LpocrqvP2Yg ...OK BYE

BOGUS LUCK

PLOP PLOP...i know what your thinking but no its not the sound of me going to the toilet.Its the sound of me dropping something...AGAIN.Why do i do this?Pure carelessness?Short pockets?Greasy hands?It could be anything but i put it down to one thing and one thing alone..KLUTZITIS..Klutzitis?What is Klutzitis?If you dont know what its klutzitis go and die la ah.Your damn dumb.Im joking but thats what the great Mr Raj wouldve said.Now Klutzitis is a dissease?,a phase in adolecense?I dont know but ive had it all along.Okay kluzitis is when someone frequently gets involved in accidents,drops stuff..and destroys stuff.Many objects in this world can be heat proof,Water prooff,shock proof..But they will never be Gavin proof.My phone keeps on falling out of my pockets.Just one day before my trials i fell in the park thanks to MR ANDREW HONG.He pushed me as i was going in on goal.I got injured but the only consolation was i scored the goal.I could barely walk.But as a few days went by my foot got less painful but i still couldnt run or walk properly.What i shouldve done was walk more instead of sitting down in one place to cure it faster.So people with klutzitis like me..If you ever need real life experienced help..I am always here. Ok byee

To tell you the truth i dont really get the video neither do i think it is that funny.However,if you find it funny do not hesitate to laughh because maybe it is.Im sitting on the fence here. You must be wondering to yourself now why this guy is blabbering and blabbering.The reason i blabbered today is actually not for anything but just to waste your precious time.After all not as if PMR is in 2 weeks right..?Im sorry if i bore you to death but maybe you will thank me because you wont have to sit for PMR.The reason why it is so boring today is because i have mental block loo..Come back another day and i might have a more interesting story..Ok bye

Safety 101 with Guru Gav

Today i encountered a safety hazard.Before i tell you the moral of the story and safety tip,let me tell you what happened first.I was in the park with barat,anisha,andrew,bryan and Weng(pokemon guy).Anywhoos we were sitting down and chatting..Then my mother came to pick me up from the park.AIYO...why come la ?i can walk by myself..i thought..As i was walking back from the park to the car..This strange chinese lady who walks around with an umbrella at all hours of the day in this area walked an opened the car door...The lady opened the door and said"I want to have dinner.Want to go?"My mother was like wtf .. Mom, told the lady she needed to take me back home and she couldnt go and my mom gave the lady a stare..The lady closed the door but continued standing next to the car..I rushed into the car and went back.Now,i dont think this lady couldve caused much harm physically but you never know right?I think she is just erm a bit off her rocker.But thats besides the point..What if it were a ruthless killer who came into the car.Anyway moral of the story.. Always lock your car door especially when your waiting for someone..OK BYE

Jons mad skills

COUTDOWN TO JONS BIRTHDAY>>>1 DAY
Okay so anyway this is inspiration to us all .We all can succeed if we want to.Here is a story.....It all started at the Bangkung park one fine day.There was a young boy playing with his barbie dolls in the park.That boy was called Jonathan Gui.Suddenly BHAAMMM he got smacked with a ball which hit his stomach. .. His grandfather,(the guy who caught botak chin or is botak chin..i dont know) rushed up and said "HEY PUNKK..why you kick the ball so hardd?got small kids around here"Jon was feeling okay physically but he was hurt deep down,really embarresed. That was when the young girl changed into a pro man..YET Today he is here stronger then ever..and has mad skills..I mean i have a lot more skills of coursee..PFFTT but this is about JON..Moral of the story..JON IS PRO>>OK BYE

FERNANDO TORRES>>>

HE is not only a talented footballer..but also a tv star?I think he should be concentrating more on football...:D

Andrews STD 6 STORY...HOPE YOU ENJOY JON

Thursday, September 17, 2009

ANDREWS 2006 story

EL DESPERADO

In the class of 6 Kreatif, there is a boy named Jonathan. He is quite smart .He has this respiration problem which makes him fart.His farts are really stinky.Silent but violent.

Jonathan likes this girl named Judith.She is really tall and thin.Jonathan was not exactly tall.Jonathan tries to hang out with Judith so she teases him about his height and stinky fart because whenever he is around Judith he gets nervous and lets a bomb.

With Jonathan’s weird behavior, everyone in the class soon found out that Jonathan actually likes Judith. Everyone started teasing him. Jonathan did not even care. He also did not admit it.

In the month of June, Jonathan confessed to Judith without anyone knowing so that people wouldn’t talk about it. “You’re sick, Jon!! “, exclaimed Judith. “At least I am not sick of you,” replied Jonathan. “Get out of my sight midget,” Judith said after she had enough from Jon.So he went.

Jon thought that if he is taller, Judith would actually like him. So did whatever he could to be taller like playing basketball, eating food products that are rich in calcium and many more. His height rose from 2 feet to 6 feet 4 in 3 months. But he failed to make Judith fall for him.But, now everyone stopped calling him a shortie but a coconut tree.

In the month of September, he asked Judith to go out on a date with him. Judith rejected his invitation. Judith told him that she is busy until after UPSR.Jon was fine with that.

He didn’t study for UPSR but sending a lot of sms to Judith. But Judith never replies those sms because she thinks it’s stupid to waste money on a midget like Jonathan.

When it was after UPSR, Jonathan asked Judith to go out on a date with him again.” I rather go out on a date with a pig”, said Judith.”But, I am a pig,” replied Jonathan.Judith slapped Jonathan as hard as she could and said that she doesn’t like people like him.

Jonathan did very badly for his UPSR because he was sending a lot of sms to Judith and not studying. But he still did not regret because Judith is like everything to him.

His parents decided to send him to Wesley Metodist,a private school where he wouldn’t be distracted by Judith.Jonathan was too depressed.

In the month of October, Jon kissed Judith and everyone knew about it. Judith was ashamed but Jon was quite proud of it. Now Judith really hated him and quite embarrassed.

For some strange reason,Jon started teasing that Barathan likes Judith (probaly its true,but who cares!This story is about Jon..ok where was i?).Probaly he thinks he would get Judith’s attention but instead he is making Judith hate him even more!!

He also called Judith’s brother macha (brother in law).Judith was furious but she just kept quiet.He also modified the song called “Start of Something New” ,this are the lyrics :

Living in Judith’s world

Always understand

That Judith really likes me,when I fart a lot!

I always believed in what I think is related to Judith

I always opened my heart to Judith..

Jon loves to fart,when he farts,everyone will lose their noses..He also reads out this poet to Judith :

I wrote your name in the sky,the wind blew it away,

I wrote your name on my ass,and forever it shall stay,

Cuz I will never wash my ass

Moral of the story: Do not be too desperate

ANDREW S FUNNY STORYY
PS:THIS STORY IS IN COLABORATION WITH JONATHAN Gui kok WENG`s birthday..WITHOUT THIS GUYS GRANDAD we would be roaming the streets in feearr of botak chin coming up behind us..CHEERS JON..HAPPY BIRTHDAYYYYYY

Reopening of blog...

ONLINE BETTING WEBSITE...Ever heard of betting on a football match?or even betting on numberss....Paddy power have created so many different things you can bet on.Just to justify how far they have gone..You could bet who would be the next liverpool player to get robbed?But sadly to say it got banned...

Welcomed to Blogspot

Im new to blogspot..My interest might die off but my spirit will always be here..:p